Today I woke up wrapped in my lover's skin and could hardly lift myself out of my deepest sleep. I dreamed long after I was conscious and felt delirious with tired bones all slack with exhaustion. There is a lot of tired in those two sentences - I think it's the dreary winter-ness. Or, perhaps it was the news I got yesterday. One class may keep me locked exactly where I am. And, I'm so tired, so defeated, that I don't feel much like fighting it.
Winter Blues.
When I was in college, I got the winter blues pretty badly. So badly in fact, that I would go to the tanning bed just to get my body to produce warmth. I only went once every couple of weeks, so it was definitely not an exercise in body darkening - I don't tan so well even in real light - but the artificial sunlight helped my mood.
Even the Sunday Sun didn't help my feeling of helplessness. I sat outside with a chair in the snow, closing my eyes and letting the warmth wash over me, I took supplements, I had water. Still, this exhaustion, unnatural in its tenacity. Honestly, I don't even feel like posting anything right now, but the only way to get past the roadblock of the winter blues is to force one foot and then the other, willing to do whatever you've got wrong, looking at every movement, small and large, as a triumph against your static nature.
About Me
read me, feed me
Posts
Comments
1 comment:
Ugh. I hate the Winter Blues. I felt exactly that way this weekend
So mopey and depressed. Spring and Summer cannot get here fast enough!!! It certainly doesn't help much either that I am still sans job, but regardless of that I get the blues every year no matter how much I determine that I "won't let it get to me this year". I'm doing better now though because Idong gave me a pep talk :) I'll definitely be one of those people who moves to Florida when I'm 60~ish!
Post a Comment