Unconditional

The world is a crazy, mixed-up place, I thought to myself when I saw that the package sitting on my front porch from Bed, Bath and Bexpensive was addressed to my ex, G, with my address on it. Weird. I also thought: a) I never gave him my new address and b) I bet he and his fiancee are registered at the triple B, c) oh, f*ck, now I'm going to have to figure out a way to send this back to him which is going to be a most royal pain in the ass and d) I hope that this is not a prelude to a deluge of random kitchen shite that I'm going to have to traffic cross country.

So, how did this happen? Well, this little lady right here (umm, that would be me) has quite a paper trail of addresses littered cross the country through previous and current stints of mail forwarding. And, the G in question at one time in the past was part of my addiction to new addresses. Apparently, the UPS computer system is smart enough to link my paper trail to our previously joined addresses but not smart enough to realize that G is most definitely not living with me and my lover in Louisville. Totally bizarre, but true.

Anyway, I called the G in question to let him know that he may want to let the UPS computer in on our breakup. After clearing up the mixing-up, I asked after his wedding preparations. It turns out, that poor guy is suffering from a lack of unconditional love.

You see, G is an observant Jew now. And, apparently that impedes his family's ability to get behind his decision to marry a lovely observant Jewess and have a lovely observant family. Poor schmuck, ditched the shiksa and still can't catch a break.

I offered my support and hopes for his happiness with his new wife. Personally, I feel so thankful and blessed by life and my tribe, that I can't help but think that the universe, or if you prefer - G-d - has good things in store for him and this lovely young woman he has found. He said, "You wouldn't think that my ex-wife would be the most supportive person of this marriage in my family past and present, but you are." Which was nice to hear, but mostly saddened me for everyone involved. Most especially, G and his fiancee who simply want to celebrate this beginning!

It got me thinking about the nature of love. And, it made me wonder about myself and the things that I insist on seeing negatively instead of for the light that lives inside them. We all have those things inside ourselves, I suppose. Those things that feed on our insecurities or presuppositions. We can't control the other people in our lives, but I guess, what I took away from my conversation with G is that I want to be a force of light for the people I love. A force of accepting, positive, joyful light.

Because this crazy mixed-up world can always do with more love. Pure and delightful.